I’m not sure exactly when it began but I have found that I frequently apologize for no reason, second-guess my own opinions, and seek reassurance from others before saying what it is that I really want to say. I don’t behave or act this way due to lack of confidence or knowledge on a particular subject, but rather I unknowingly undermine my own opinions and ideas by peppering my emails, presentations and conversations with seemingly innocent words like “sorry,” “actually” and “just” and upward inflections that signal that I am asking a question vs. making a statement. While I am most certainly guilty of this behavior in the workplace, I am guilty using weak or undermining words during my “off hours” as well. Thankfully (or sadly), I know I’m not alone.
The exact problem I and many other women/girls/ladies face was addressed in a not-so-recent but new to me article (thank you Lindsay and Ashley for sharing) featured on Gwyneth Paltrow’s website, Goop.com. The article itself was inspired by a book by Tara Mohr, titled Playing Big.
If you are at all like me and/or want to assess whether or not you are guilty of using weak language, check out the links below!
How Women Undermine Themselves With Words
Playing Big by Tara Mohr
Great post Liz! I tend to use the word “JUST” far too often in all of my work emails and am going to make a conscious effort to eliminate that word from my vocabulary. Men don’t use it…read over your emails…its so interesting!